On spring and new opportunities

I realize my posts have been few and far between lately, except for over the ongoing saga with the slumlord next door (if you were wondering, the city's code inspection department finally decided to do their jobs and had ALL of the junk outside removed- wow, it only took two months!). I've been quiet because there's been a lot going on in my personal life, and well, this was supposed to be a blog about my house, not about ME.

Today's been a good day, though. I found some kindred spirits online, of all places. Finding community on the interwebs isn't a new concept to me; I was a 16 year old geek cruising a Smashing Pumpkins fan site's forums until 3:00 AM, after all. That community was very important at that time in my life, and I still call several people I met there good friends. A couple of years ago, I became involved in the Colorado political online community. I was a regular blogger on the Colorado version of DailyKos. But I left that world behind, and all of the friends I made through it, when I moved home just over a year ago.

Today, however, I found GenPink. I found it via decor8, which I read every day. Holly Becker of decor8 wrote today's post about the trials and tribulations of making your own first place, well, your own:

"For nearly two weeks, I pretty much stayed in my apartment depressed to the core. I cried and slept all day, remaining wide awake at night since I feared the bugs finding their way to my bed and coating me in my sleep like some weird Alfred Hitchcock-ish film. My friends kept calling and knocking on my door but I didn’t answer. I just cried over my ex-boyfriend, lack of employment, the list grew as I isolated myself. Then something in my head snapped. I woke up after two weeks of extreme poor-me syndrome and decided to kick my own self in the butt. I wasn’t about to make the first official month in my new apartment a miserable one. I opened all the shades, played some music, and decided to get a life. I couldn’t just lay there and cry over love lost and bugs found. Sure I lived in a crappy beat-up roach coach, and okay I had no job and no man, but I did have ME and that had to count for something. I also had a few bucks left in my savings account so I did what any sensible depressed girl wanting to make a change would do. I shopped. But not at the mall. I headed to the one store that always made me feel better. The hardware store....

It’s vital to live in a place that supports your emotional well-being. One that motivates you and keeps you focused on moving forward in life. If I hadn’t renovated my apartment back then, who knows what would have happened to me? I may have become consumed in pain, I could have fallen into a deep period of depression, who knows? And though I made the choice to purchase paint over groceries (I lived on ramen noodle for 3 months), all that renovating, cleaning, and decorating kept my spirits very high. It kept me busy. I had friends over frequently to help me, including the hot guy friend with his power tools. You find what needs to be done, take ownership over how your apartment looks and feels, ask for help, find cute boys to do the hard stuff, don’t diss the dollar store (and curbside finds) and skip a few meals sometimes to buy a can of paint if needed. When you put your all into something, when you sacrifice to have the things you want putting your entire heart (and sometimes your last $20) into fixing up your home - then your confidence starts to soar, you feel empowered, motivated, and that you are just one extremely unstoppable human being. You feel like an adult, and that’s a good feeling. Progress is power. It’s empowering to take control of what you can control and forget the rest."

This is what I've been grasping for, for awhile now. My house might not have roaches or holes in the walls, but I do have a hole in the ground for a deck, a backyard that floods every time it rains, a kitchen door that lets rain water in, etc. etc. etc. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when I'm not rich, and I'm alone.

But finally, spring is coming. It might even be just around the corner. Yesterday was a beautiful day, and I got some crafty things done around the house for the first time in months. Small things, sure, but things that had been on my to-do list for awhile. And it felt good. To quote Toby from The Office (another reason to love spring! New episodes next month!!!), "I'm gonna chase that feeling."